When I was dropped off at Alumni Hall for I-Day my mother cried, my father said “good luck”, and my brothers gave me hugs. Of course, I knew what I was getting into because I knew everything back then, but my parents could have used some tips before I stepped away from them and started a new chapter in my life. Below are five things that every parent should know when they drop off their soon-to-be-plebe at the Naval Academy.
1. Your plebe will fail at something
A midshipman struggles to climb a rope. (photo: dvidshub.net)
And that is okay! Plebe Summer is designed to put stress on the newest class of midshipmen, and many of the required tasks will be completely foreign to your son or daughter. No one gets through Plebe Summer without failing something: a room inspection, a set of physical activities, or simply knowing their rates. There is so much going on that it is impossible to get everything right every single time, so if your Midshipman calls and says “I keep failing at everything,” it is OK. They are supposed to fail.
2. “I don’t want to be here”
Log PT: so much fun! (Photo: dvidshub.net)
This is a common phrase heard by parents during Plebe Summer calls. I said it, both of my roommates said it, and probably most of my company said it at one point. The Naval Academy is a very demanding place, and as stress builds, the temptation to drop it all and walk away is always in the back of your plebe’s head. If they call you and say this, tell them to keep going! If they drop out during Plebe Summer, they will never experience the Naval Academy during the academic year, which is much more important than Plebe Summer. Support your fledgling plebe, and tell them it is going to be OK. It might be hard now, but Plebe Summer does actually end.
3. Asking for too much
Studying takes a lot of time. (Photo: archive.defense.gov)
When nearly every second of a plebe’s day is taken care of and accounted for, the last thing that they want or need is a parent that keeps trying to tell them what to do. Plebes do not have free time. They do not have time to themselves, and they do not have time to do what you ask them to do. Do you want a letter? Maybe they need sleep more than you need that letter. Do you want them to spend every second of their allotted phone time with you? Maybe they want to call their grandparents, girlfriend or boyfriend, or their other friends to tell them how they are doing. Demanding things from your plebe will only stress them out more, and that will make them even less likely to do what you want them to.
4. Plebe Parents Weekend
It can get emotional. (Photo: http://navylive.dodlive.mil)
Plebe’s Parents Weekend is a time of celebration for the plebes. Plebe Summer is finally about to end. As an added bonus, they get to see their parents! Seeing their parents after being in a stressful environment for so long is a massive morale boost. When I saw my parents that weekend, I was so happy I nearly cried (and I do not do that very often). Not every parent comes to this special day. We called those plebes the “stragglers” in my Some would tag along with friends, but some stayed in Bancroft Hall. Their parents had not come, and they did not have friends yet. That set a depressing tone for many plebe’s first semester
5. USNA Parent’s Group on Facebook
You will know when we do cool stuff like this! (Photo: dvidshub.net)
If you have a Facebook account, consider joining the USNA Parent’s Group. The news on there is up to date, and the community of parents is very active in advocating for midshipmen and making sure that they are being taken care of. By being part of the group, you will know about upcoming events, general news on the yard, and make contact with hundreds of pretty cool people. If you are having a hard time being away from your son or daughter or worried about what they might be doing, you can find someone who has gone through the exact same thing that you have, and they will support you and your family. The USNA Parent’s Group is a wonderful asset, so I advise looking into it.
Another great resource is The Parent’s Guide to the U.S. Navy, which contains a lot of basic information about the branch of the military in which your son or daughter will ultimately serve.
Parents, if you drop your son or daughter off at the Naval Academy knowing nothing else, these tips are a general base for you to help your son or daughter succeed at the Naval Academy. Support them, and when you see them next, they will be a midshipman.
